Easy and Efficient Potty Training: Make it Fast and Fun!

Disclaimer: This is a long post. I didn’t hold anything back. This is ALL the tips and tricks. Also, if you were to tell me ten years ago that I’d spend an entire week passionately writing an article about potty training methods, I’d have called you a dirty, dirty liar. 

I can’t start a “How to Potty Train Your Kid” post without first saying that there is no one one-size-fits-all method for potty training. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Your kid is special and unique. Like anything else in child rearing, what works for one kid may not work for another. Hell, what worked for my firstborn didn’t work for my second, and they have the same DNA! Potty training is overwhelming in and of itself, so don’t stress if you have to modify things as you go. You should! You’re following your kid’s natural cues which means you’re awesome. 

This post is just our personal journey with potty training. I’m basically writing it to document the fact that I successfully lived through it twice, as I imagine Hemingway did when he wrote about the wars he was in. 🙂

Materials Needed:

• Small Incentive Treats Our son loves chocolate, so we chose M&Ms.
• Juice or Something “Special” to Drink Apple Juice was a huge hit for us.
• 10-20 Pairs of Undies with their Favorite Animal or Character
• Potty Seat & Step Stool – We love the Mayfair NextStep2 Toilet Seat. Explanation below.
• Paper towels, Clorox Wipes, and Patience 🙂
• Potty Books, Daniel Tiger Potty Episode Season 2, Episode 1
• Snacks, Easy Meals, Takeout Plan. You’re not going anywhere for a couple days. 
• High Quality Bourbon. For you. Kidding. Kinda.
• Toilet Training in Less Than a Day by Nathan H. Azrin & Richard M. Foxx*

*NOTE: After reading just about everything on the topic of potty training, we decided the method we liked best is from the book Toilet Training in Less Than a Day by Nathan H. Azrin & Richard M. Foxx. It’s a very straightforward and effective approach. It’s the method we found a lot of success in with our firstborn, Fiona. I highly recommend this quick read of a book. It was first published in the 1970s, so some parts are pretty dated, but overall, its step-by-step method leads to a lot of success. 

The book recommends using a small potty chair for your child– one the child empties into a toilet themselves. We decided against that. We trained both our kids by having them use the regular toilet with a potty seat that attaches to the top. Our reasoning is: the ultimate goal is for them to use the actual toilet, so it’s best to use the actual toilet right from the beginning. This cuts out the middleman and also cuts out potential spills, mess, and confusion.

Potty Seats: We’re HUGE fans of the MayFair NextStep2 Toilet Seat for several reasons: it looks like a regular toilet seat, it’s very high-quality, and both kids and adults can use it with ease. So many potty seats that attach to a regular toilet take an act of congress to remove and put back on, rendering the toilet useless to anyone except the potty training kid. Not the MayFair though. The MayFair is a real toilet seat that has a smaller potty seat that easily snaps up and down using a magnet, so anyone can use the toilet. Very kid-friendly. The MayFair also allows you to get a “round” or “elongated” size, ensuring it will perfectly fit whatever toilet you have. We’ve used it with two kids now and our MayFairs are still going strong. Bonus: Guests to your house who haven’t been briefed on the potty training situation figure it out in two seconds.

Background Info & Getting Started

We potty trained Fiona over a long MLK, Jr. weekend when she was about two and half. We started the program on Saturday morning and she was completely trained by Sunday night. We used Monday to continue practice and reinforce everything. She was so easy and we attribute that to four very important factors: 

1. We waited until she was truly ready. (See “Signs Your Kid is Ready” below.)
2. We followed the method outlined in the book to a tee.
3. We stayed firm, but very positive and patient. The last thing we wanted was for her to have a negative association with using the potty.
4. In general, she’s an easy-going, eager-to-please kid. Our son? Not so much. We had to modify certain things for him the second time around. More on that below.

There will be accidents, oh yes. That’s a guarantee. Know they are coming and have your firm, but positive approach/attitude ready to go. By “she was completely potty trained,” I mean “she used the potty herself without being prompted multiple times, but still had the occasional accident.” 

Finding a lot of success with Fiona, we followed the same method with Hank. We waited until he was truly ready and when we had a vacation from work. Really, you can make significant strides in just a weekend, but we like to have extra time so we don’t feel rushed. We potty trained Hank between Christmas and New Year’s, during that weird week between the two holidays when we’re not doing much anyway.

Signs Your Kid is Ready to Potty Train:

1. They can pull their pants up and down on their own, or with minimal assistance.
2. They can follow simple one and two step directions.
3. They have an understanding and appreciation for rewards, praise, and incentives.

Age two and half is a good rule of thumb. Most of my toddler parent friends shoot for this age to begin potty training, too. Some are ready much earlier and some aren’t ready for another year. It really depends on your kid’s personality and development. Most importantly, it’s not a race. Hank took twice as long as Fiona to be completely independent with the potty. More on that in the section below titled, “A Word on Pull-Ups.”

THE METHOD

A Couple Weeks Before “Potty Day!”

• Start talking about using the potty a lot. Let them watch you use the restroom and talk about all the different steps of pottying. “Mommy is going pee pee on the potty! Look! I flush after I go potty!” 
• Start reading books about pottying to your kid.
• Watch TV episodes about pottying. Our absolute favorite is the Daniel Tiger episode, “Daniel Uses the Potty!” (Season 2, Episode 1). I can quote every word and sing the songs in my sleep, haha!
• Make arrangements for all other children to be out of the house the day you plan to start potty training–a day we call “Potty Day!” You don’t want any distractions. We sent Fiona to her grandparents’ house for Hank’s Potty Day.

The Day Before “Potty Day!”

• Make sure all supplies and materials are ready to go. See “Materials Needed” list above.
• Talk up “Potty Day” like it’s the second coming. “Oh my gosh! Potty Day is tomorrow, Hankie! You’re going to start using the POTTY tomorrow! Can you believe it?! You’re such a big boy!” If you’re excited, they’ll be excited!
• Install the new potty seats or get your little potty chair ready to go.
• Make sure everyone (including you!) gets a good night’s sleep. You want everyone extra sweet and extra patient. 

“POTTY DAY!”

1. As soon as your kid wakes up, into undies he goes! There’s no turning back. Our rule is: if he’s awake, he’s in undies. There can be confusion for your kid if there’s a bunch of undies-to-diapers-to-undies back and forth.
2. To “celebrate” Potty Day, we gave Hank a big glass of apple juice right from the start. Cheers! The goal is to pump them full of liquids all day so they have to pee a lot, therefore allowing them a lot of chances to practice using the potty. Throughout the day, we constantly asked him if he wanted something to drink. Feel free to mix up the flavors of juice or soda so they don’t get bored. We don’t really drink juice or soda in our house, so Hank thought it was so special to get to have apple juice and Sprite. 
3. As soon as they’re good and full of liquid, demonstrate with a doll the process for pottying. Hank loves his Toy Story Woody doll, so we used Woody. “Uh oh! Woody needs to go potty. Let’s take him to the potty! Woody needs to pull down his undies to sit on the potty. Woody needs to wait until he pee pees! Oh good, he went pee pee! Let’s help him lift his undies back up and flush! Yay, Woody!” You get the idea. 
4. “Now it’s your turn!” Have your kid sit on the potty and ask them to go pee pee. The goal is they don’t get off the toilet until they pee pee. This can take 5-20 minutes. Yes, they’ll get bored, but only let them play with toys or read a book as a last resort. They don’t potty as easy if they’re distracted by something else.
5. Once they actually pee in the toilet, even if it’s just a couple drops, act as though you were just handed a million dollars. Jump up and down, scream, congratulate, and offer one small treat as a reward. Make sure they get off the potty and pull their pants up all on their own, which will seem like it takes eighty years, but gets faster and faster with more practice. You want them doing everything themselves as much as possible.
6. For the next 3-4 hours, take them every 15 minutes to the toilet whether they have to go or not. When they use the potty successfully, praise and reward like hell. Our rewards were just one plain M&M each time because they’re delicious, but also small. Last thing you need is a hyper little kid full of too much sugar. Ain’t nobody got time for that on Potty Day.
7. Remember–There will be accidents, oh yes. That’s a guarantee. Know they are coming and have your firm, but positive attitude ready to go. Sometimes there will be an accident approximately nine seconds after they have successfully used the potty. It’s okay. It’s all part of the process. Act slightly disappointed (never mad) and say, “Oh no! Remember? We pee pee in the potty! Not on mommy’s favorite throw pillow.” And take them back to the potty to practice again. We always had Woody practice again too so Hank could “remind” Woody of the steps, therefore reminding himself. We also always had Hank “help” clean up his messes.
8. In the middle of Potty Day, a shift in rewards needs to happen. If your kid takes a midday nap, then it’s perfect to make the change after their nap. (By the way, diapers should still be worn when sleeping. Kids don’t gain nighttime/naptime dryness for months or years after awake potty training.) Instead of offering a reward for using the potty successfully, you’ll offer a reward for staying dry. Staying dry is the whole point of potty training, so everything should now revolve around “staying dry.” When your kid wakes up from their nap, change them into a fresh pair of undies and have them pat the front of the undies. Ask, “Are you wet or dry?” When they answer “Dry!” act super excited and give them a treat. “You ARE dry! Yay! You’re staying dry!” 
9. For the rest of the day, instead of asking, “Do you need to go potty?” Ask, “Are you dry?” every 30 minutes or so. Have them check. If they are, awesome! Praise them! If not, practice again just like you did earlier in the day. Taper off the rewards in the afternoon as well. Instead of getting an M&M every time we checked for dryness, we did it every other time.  
10. Stay at it, watch them like a hawk, celebrate successes, and treat yourself to something criminally high in calories after they’ve gone to bed that night. You’ve earned it, friend.

Day 2

• Day 2 looks a lot like the afternoon of Day 1. It’s all about staying dry. Pottying is just the means to an end — and the end, the ultimate goal, is staying dry. If your kid has gone to the potty successfully a few times, then they know what’s expected. That’s the easy part. The hard part is for them to recognize and act upon bodily cues, like the urge to pee. These are bodily cues they’ve never had to recognize or act upon before, so it’s a major mental shift. We kept asking, “Are you dry?” every half hour or so and giving verbal praise (no M&Ms) when he stayed dry. 
• At this point, he was pooping in his diaper at naptime, but not yet in the potty. So when he asked about M&Ms on Day 2, we said, “Now you get chocolate for poo poos in the potty!” Note: It took several weeks for this to happen. See our journey with that in the “A Word on Pull-Ups” section below. 
• Optional: Fiona’s “Potty Day” Chart is seen in the picture above. We implemented this on Day 2 when we were tapering off rewards a bit. She got a reward after every fourth successful use of the potty. The key to any rewards chart is letting them be the ones to color or put a sticker on each box. They really own it and look forward to filling it out.

Day 3

• By this point, you’ll probably see some major progress. Don’t make the mistake of getting cocky like us. Hank showed so much success on Days 1 & 2, that we took him to my parents’ house for a New Year’s Day lunch only to watch him have multiple accidents all over their house. I laugh about it now, but it was pretty frustrating at the time. Of course we only had ourselves to blame. Even though he seemed ready, he wasn’t quite ready. Kids need lots of practice, in many different situations (even after having success) to be completely independent. My one critique of the Toilet Train in Less Than a Day book is they didn’t hit that point hard enough. It’s one thing to have success at home when your parent is watching you like a hawk, it’s a whole different ball game when you’re on your own at daycare putting an epic block tower together with your pals. Every situation & circumstance requires practice. 
• It’s best to continue the Day 2 regimen on Days 3-4 to make absolutely sure the basics really “stick” before going to other places. Our daycare’s policy is that they must be accident free for two full days before sending them to school in undies and I think that’s a pretty good rule of thumb.

Day 4 and Beyond

• There may still be accidents here and there. Most likely, they’ll be so random. Hank went several days without any accidents and then had accident after accident about a week after our initial training session. The best thing you can do when this happens is gently say, “No, no. We poo poo in the potty, remember? You’re a big boy! Where do big boys go poo poo?” and go over the basics with them again. Also, and this is so important, remember that every accident is a step in the right direction. I swear. It won’t seem like it, but it is. It’s another opportunity for them to practice and for you to reinforce everything. 

A Word on Pull-Ups…

Remember when I said, “As soon as your kid wakes up, into undies he goes! There’s no turning back. Our rule is: if he’s awake, he’s in undies. There can be a lot of confusion for your kid if there’s a bunch of undies-to-diapers-to-undies back and forth.” Oh, man. Famous last words…

With Fiona, I read every potty training book and article I could get my hands on. They all basically follow the same method with a few varying factors here and there, but one point of contention that is absolutely polarizing in the potty training world is PULL-UPS. To pull-up, or not to pull-up– THAT is the question. 

Pull-ups, or training undies, are glorified diapers that can be pulled up and down like underwear. If you have an accident in a pull-up, it’s no big deal because they pull moisture away from the skin like a diaper would. It’s not nearly as uncomfortable to have an accident in a pull-up as it is in real undies. For this reason, a lot of parents and “experts” don’t believe in using pull-ups at all. They think it slows potty training progress because it’s just another form of a diaper. A crutch.

This reasoning really resonated with me the first time around with Fiona. We always try to teach things with the end in mind by praising the goal and not necessarily the means to the goal. Like how we put such an emphasis on staying dry, not just using the potty. Or how we prefer using the real toilet from the very beginning instead of a potty training chair.  I loved the “no pull-ups ever” approach because the end goal isn’t that your child wears pull-ups, so why use them as a crutch in the process?

Because they’re not always a crutch and your kid may find a lot of success with them.

Fiona? Never needed them. Hank? Oh, yeah. When daycare was like, “He’s reached his limit on accidents and we’re putting him in a pull-up today,” I pushed back hard. A million reasons against pull-ups raced through my mind. This will make him regress. Fiona didn’t need them! He’s going to treat them the same as diapers. This will confuse him. And you know what? He didn’t regress. He wasn’t confused. All the work we put into potty training wasn’t lost. I forgot the cardinal rule of parenting: they mirror you. If you give up, they give up. If you stay at it and keep the same level of encouragement and reinforcement, they’ll stay at it too. We started treating the pull-ups like undies; celebrating successes and not giving up on progress. Hank started treating the pull-ups just like undies too, pulling them up and down himself to use the potty and eventually staying dry all day. He absolutely made progress with pullups, so don’t write them off like I did. And, it has to be said, changing an accident in a pull-up is a whole lot better than changing an accident in undies. Win-win.

So, is the old saying true? Are “girls so much easier to potty train than boys”? Who knows. I know my girl was way easier than my boy, but I also know I’m not a fan of gender stereotypes. What I know as an absolute fact though, is that every kid (no matter the gender) has their own unique developmental path. I strongly believe if you follow the method outlined above and tweak it for your kid’s needs along the way, you’ll be on the fast track for pottying success.

Just don’t forget the bourbon. 🙂

Love, Friis

P.S. Feel free to shoot me a message below for any questions or clarifications. Seriously. I’m (weirdly) passionate about this subject and will do my best to help in any way I can!